Really, Our Thoughts Are Not His Thoughts!

So many times I have been told by God to dream big. When I first arrived here I was praying about my needs and asking the Lord about transportation. Living here with all of the public transportation available I was ready to ask God for the funds for the monthly transportation pass but as I asked I really felt He said how about a car? While I grocery shop on Monday's for the house, a car is not a bad idea. A car? Really God is that You? If You want to give me a car I will receive it.

This was just the beginning of what God is wanting to release in my life. As I pray and search for a job here in Spain and begin to look at all of the obstacles to overcome I begin be overwhelmed through the whole process. In a moment of wondering where o where is that right job I was talking with one of my friends and as she began to pray for me all of these ideas both old and some new began to fill my mind. 

One of the major dreams I have had is to have my own coffee shop/cafe. I have lots of friends who are very in to the coffee house scene and while I am not in search of the latest and greatest trend in the coffee scene I know how to make a great cup of coffee, some great deserts and some tasty simple meals all while offering a bit of myself in hospitality, an ear to listen, a hand to help. My dream is to have a great business that offers comfort and a bit of home while also remembering those who are less fortunate, who may not be able to afford a simple cup of joe or needs a place to warm up on cold days. It is a mix of alot including the coffee coming in from various nations that helps to support a local village, not big corporation. 

Just from this brief insight I am in total dependence on the Lord for what is to come. He alone can make it possible for me to have a job, to open a cafe in a foreign nation and to bring in the workers who will an integral part of reaching the nation of Spain for His glory. 

Espana!

As of today I have been in Spain for two full weeks.

I am full of wonder and hope for so many things these next two years.

I look around and I see so many needs, so many opportunities and so many answers.

But most of all I see Jesus. He is here but He is waiting.

What is He waiting for?

He is waiting to be invited in.

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me."

He wants to commune with the Spanish people. 

He wants to love on them and to build relationship with them.

He is here.

Pray they invite Him in. 

Just Be

The moments I feel so inadequate, so unproductive, so not in "the will" of God.
Those are the moments I can just allow my mind to run off with.
Letting the lies cloud over my reality.

But then I turn my head to center focus.
Back to truth, back to His love and embrace.
I hear my name being called drawing back from this dream into reality.
I see His arms so open and welcoming.
I glance at those eyes of warmth and acceptance.

And I remember.
I remember that I am His daughter.
I remember that I am accepted.
I remember that I am seated with Him.

I remember that this is reality.
And all I have to do is just be me.

So Be It

It has been some time since my last entry but after some good time of reflection I was talking with God this morning and was inspired by these words, so be it. Yes, I do have a fascination with words and the power they hold. I have pondered often on the Biblical creation of earth and how all creation came in to being because God said let there be... and it came in to being. Because I see all of creation in existence around me it helps me to believe that what the Bible says is true. If I believe that then in the portion of scripture that says that there is the power of life and death in the tongue then I am more aware of the words that I speak over myself and over others because I am responsible for those words. But when I pray do I really believe that the words I am speaking will come to pass when I utter "amen" at the end of my prayer?

"So be it" is the basic definition of the word amen. It basically says that what I just prayed is in motion to happen. But my thought is do I really believe it will happen. If I pray for someones healing do I believe that I will see them healed or am I just being a good Christian and praying for someone because that is what Christians do. I recently caught myself praying for someone and when the words stopped coming forth I was done but then I looked at the area we were praying for and there was not a change. At that moment I made the choice that one, I needed to ask God do I continue to pray for the healing and then once I got direction from Him I continued to pray and when the words stopped coming again and there still was not a change the Lord reminded me of two things. The first thing was the story of Jesus speaking to the fig tree and how when they walked by it a day later the tree had withered and died. The other was what is faith? Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Even if I don't see the answer to my prayer I have faith that God is moving, He is putting the word in to action and bringing it to pass. It is now His responsibility to do the impossible cause isn't that what our prayers are for the impossible to happen? I want to believe that what I pray will happen. I want to see God do the impossible. I want to see God's kingdom come and for His will to be done.

Beholding the Creator

It is everywhere in France, those great works of art that hang in galleries around the world are live, living out in front of me. From many of Van Gogh's paintings during his stay in France to the great impressionists we are exposed to the beauty of what their eyes beheld. When we hear the symphonies of the greats we close our eyes and see the life and beauty they wanted to express. Poetry is our written express bringing words of glory to many a subject from women, animals, seasons, etc. Such emotion and beauty conveyed.

These all came from men beholding the creation. As I pondered the beauty before me I wondered, what could I create? What beauty can I bring forth if I would spend even more time beholding the Creator? What things would He reveal to me? What beauty would He expose me to? Would I be able to see the beauty He sees in things that I haven't even taken the time to see as beautiful? Would my sense of beauty change?

This is my walk in progress, to behold this magnificent Creator, wonderful Father, beautiful Savior, the living God. What beauty will come from my life? I hope it all looks like Him

France!

As you may or may not know my time in France is soon to come to an end. Around this time last year as I was completing my application to staff here at Bridges of Life, there was the question asking what length of time would I stay and I really felt the Lord saying one year. As I have lived and served here I really was beginning to think that I could continue on in this nation and with this community beyond that time but God has other plans and it is always my deepest desire to follow Him.

I believe this whole time here has been a time of following Him and finding the areas in my life that were at war against this desire. What does that mean? I think that anytime we feel uncomfortable or tested or in doubt or rebellion we have found the places in our lives that need to be refined, or that need to come under His Spirit. It hurts and it is uncomfortable and it even can rock our boats but if we choose to go forward in this refining process the end result is so much better than staying in the wallow and doubt of the what if's and why not's. It really is choosing life because I become more free and more creative and more adventurous. We were made for so much more and I am always going to choose God's leading cause He has yet to stir me in the wrong direction. It may not always make sense in the beginning but in the end the weaving of the tapestry always makes sense and is even more wonderful than we could first imagine.

So His word to me was valid and true as I will be leaving this land of bread, cheese and wine and so many other beautiful aspects to the French culture to venture to it's neighbor to the west, Spain. I will share more at a later time about what the Lord is showing me and sharing with me about Spain.

Enjoy somemore pics of my time in France.

Arc de Triomphe du Carrousel

Feeding birds along the Tuileries Garden

My good friend, Caroline, from Montpellier

Fountain in Nantes

Street in Nantes

Shopping area in Nantes

Paris: National buildings,
Tour de Eiffel, Riviere Seine

Jardin de Luxembourg

Opera House

Shoah Memorial in Paris

Paris Traffic

Notre Dame

Raclette: A fun dinner experience and treat.

The Tunnel

So, this past Monday one of my students and I joined in an adventure that we were not ready for but jumped right in to life in the moment. Our day began with us preparing sandwiches and coffee to give to the homeless living in our area. We then divided into groups, prayed and went on our way following our friend Jean-Claude. We came to a bridge and as Jean-Claude jumped on the fence he told us we will climb this fence and then go down the hill on the other side. What? That is what I said to myself. After a few of the group climbed the fence I just went for it. I climbed the fence and as I landed on the other side I went down the hill trying not to fall as I slide down the muddy trail. At the bottom we were met with two railways going through a long tunnel.

Jean-Claude then shared that we were to walk through the tunnel on the railroad tracks. We had no flashlights or ways to give us light in our journey but we went forth in our teams, one right after the other. At first I was able to see the person in front of me but eventually all was dark. I noticed in the beginning I was trusting in the little bit of light that was reflected in front of me with the other end of the tunnel so far in the distance. I could see the ties of the tracks as I stepped on each one, then I couldn't see a thing. I walked forward in a blind faith that the ties were as consistent as my step. I began to ask God if there was anything He wanted to speak to me about in this experience. I sensed that it was the lesson of taking one step at a time and just continue in the fashion I am going trusting that even if I miss the tie or a tie is missing or completely covered it is important to continue to move forward, not stop cause for one those following behind me may bump in to me and cause us both to fall, get hurt, etc. The light in the distance was very attractive as you realize that you want to reach it faster than no. Your eyes seem to want the light, to see everything around you with out strain or discomfort. Most importantly the light gives you the hope that being in the darkness will come to an end eventually.

There seems to be a comparison with hope and hopelessness and being in the tunnel and seeing that there is an end to the tunnel before you. When you have no hope darkness surrounds every part of your life. All you see is the doom and gloom of life but there is a light, the light is hope. The goal is to just keep walking forward towards it. If you walk slowly the darkness begins to become even more suffocating but if you continue at a good pace the light becomes greater, the end of the tunnel seems bigger and bigger and in time you will leave it. I think some people look to the right and to the left and become preoccupied by what they do not see and try to make sense of what they do see. Jesus is the light at the end of our tunnels. If we keep our focus on Him even when we are in a tunnel all we see is the light cause we are not looking to the darkness on the right or the left.

So Much to Write

A blank page at times can be a delight and at the same time it can also bring a complete sense of dread. As the days go by I have moments of revelation and epiphany and I have my blog written but that usually happens when my computer is not with me and it is all tucked away in my mind left to be rediscovered usually days, weeks, months or even years later. :)

With that said I happen to be able to keep this particular moment of pure light spread across my life. As we have been on this journey through the nation of France I am more and more convinced that I am on a mission. I'm sure you agree with me but this time it is more than leading a team on outreach to bring the good news of the Gospel. Oh, we are doing just that, students are being discipled, people are becoming aware that there is a living God but even more so I see a progression happening. In each city we are seeing God prepping us to go into the next city in a new level of victory. For me it is not like we are in one city, getting used to everything, the spiritual climate, the people, etc. but when we enter each city we are continuing the journey ready to step into what God has planned for us. For me it has not hindered me a bit to step into the unknown but to go with the flow and to stand on what God has solidified in my in the last city walking in that victory and being ready to continue on facing the next battle as ready as possible knowing that God has already won before and so we continue on.

Leaning

I think one word that came to me over and over again was my time in France would be about intimacy and going deeper with God. I have been here now for 5 1/2 months and it has really not been until this last month that I have actually seen this come to pass. In the months before leaving on outreach I really had a bigger community, leaders over me, etc. People I could whole heartily process with, be discipled by and just grow in a deeper way but God had been my everything these past four weeks. It wasn't until recently that I actually contacted my leader to go over a few things for advice and such. It was good to process and get feed back. When you are leading an outreach you usually have a co-leader to process with. As you know this time, it is just me...and God. 

Can I really convey all that I have been learning and growing in in this season. At a moments notice I can ask a question and He will respond. As I have moments to myself I can always share with Him what is on my heart cause He is always available. He leads me. He guides me. He helps me to be encouraged and strengthened in so many ways. Deeper is good even though there are places that you might have to go through that may be hard but in the end it is always good cause He is good. Intimacy is good, it is about sharing, about love, about affection, about releasing, so much goes into intimacy with God  but it too is something good for us to go through. All I have is Him during this time to be able to be the best leader for these young men. It has been good and hard at the same time. I know they are learning lots and I am think in some ways I learning even more. In the end I know I can lean on God and He will bring us all safely home.