So, here I am starting my 4th month of living in France. I am absolutely amazed at all the Father is doing in me and around me. He has been so faithful and constant during this time. Even so, I had walk through a major time of repentance this past week. There were a few things that just were not clicking here and I kept wondering what exactly is it that is keeping me from being at peace and moving forward. As I sought the Lord almost from the moment I arrived, I had not been getting full breakthrough. What is it Lord? Why am I not progressing in my walk?
This past week the answers came one by one. The first revelation that came was that I was not walking in the fullness of my walk with the Lord by trying not to offend some people. I was going back to a place of fear of man which means that I was not fully in fear of God. Ugh! How could I allow myself to revisit that place, there is no peace there, there is no freedom there. All that God had rescued me from was starting to try to come back into my life. Therefore I said in declaration to myself and to the spirit realm, "Um, no, I don't think so. I do not receive this. I have a voice that God is going to use for His glory and His purposes here in my life, in others lives and in the nations He sends me to." I choose freedom and to be free to again say what the Father says and to do what I see Him do. We are at a point in time where we can not just sit back and allow things to happen to us but we need to be aware of the cunningness of the enemy and how easily he can slip into our lives.
The other thing I felt the Lord dealing with me about was my heart for this nation that He has sent me to. I'm going to be super honest here. God said for me to go to France. So I came but in my head I was thinking this was a step to get me to where I believe I will eventually be someday. I saw this almost as a time to get through it, when it is over then the next thing will be revealed and I will move on. So not good or right, it makes me almost sick to think that that was my hidden mindset. Yuck! I repented and thanked the Lord for sending me to a nation I had always wanted to come to. To learn the language I had always wanted to speak. To be among people that have been creative, finding beauty in the world and sharing it with others for centuries now.
With all of this I have started to have major breakthroughs beginning to happen. I am absolutely excited for outreach now in France. I am beginning to grasp the language more and more(as long as they speak slowly), and I can see God's plan and purpose for the town we live in and the nation of France. Thank you all who have been praying for me. I really feel your prayers.
